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Jaguar’s New Car Design Fully Deserves Bud Light Treatment

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Chance the Rapper, Helena Christensen, Karolina Kurkova, Devon Windsor, David Gandy, Dominic Cooper Attend Reimagined Jaguar Brand Debut At Miami Art Week

(Photo by Jason Koerner/Getty Images for Jaguar)

Gage Klipper Commentary & Analysis Writer
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Jaguar told us to “Stay tuned.” Well, I did — but I can’t say I’m happy about it.

After unveiling perhaps the worst marketing campaign in history, images of the luxury carmaker’s new concept vehicle leaked in early December. I ripped the campaign at the time, pointing out the irony of the title — “Copy Nothing” — given it rips off several other recent trends in fashion, art and social theory. The vehicle itself seems par for the course. It’s the Tesla Cybertruck, but gayer. (RELATED: Jaguar Debuts Worst Ad Campaign Of The Year)

It looks very similar to other “new age” vehicles: an extended body, wide grill, minimalist lights and interior and a silhouette of forced techno-futurism that can’t quite decide whether it’s a sedan, SUV or a spaceship. It looks like something a person from 1980 would imagine 2024 to look like. So while it claims to be “the future,” it already feels dated.

MIAMI, FLORIDA – DECEMBER 02: Skepta attends Reimagined Jaguar Brand Debut At Miami Art Week on December 02, 2024 in Miami, Florida. (Photo by Jason Koerner/Getty Images for Jaguar)

MIAMI, FLORIDA – DECEMBER 02: A view of the Type 00 Miami Pink during the Reimagined Jaguar Brand Debut At Miami Art Week on December 02, 2024 in Miami, Florida. (Photo by Jason Koerner/Getty Images for Jaguar)

MIAMI, FLORIDA – DECEMBER 02: A view of the Type 00 London Blue during the Reimagined Jaguar Brand Debut At Miami Art Week on December 02, 2024 in Miami, Florida. (Photo by Jason Koerner/Getty Images for Jaguar)

The worst aspect, however, is the color scheme. Identical blue and pink vehicles are placed next to each other, making it impossible not to think of today’s ubiquitous gender reveal parties. But the colors are so desaturated, metallic yet somehow lifeless, that it feels like an attempt to suck the gender binary right out of them. Pink and blue are supposed to make purple, but mix these two together, and you can only wind up with a pale gray. Besides, what sort of weirdo wants a pink car anyway?

This all makes it clear that Jaguar has nothing but ire for its target demo. Your typical upper middle class, aspiring aristocrat dreamed of owning a Jaguar: cool elegance, timeless luxury and unbridled masculinity under the hood. But the effete revamp certainly doesn’t appeal to your high-powered doctor, lawyer or businessman. A non-binary, sustainable sports car might have a built-in cheer squad on some freak-centric fringes of the internet, but I can guarantee you: These people can’t afford Jaguars.

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Neil Patel