Growing up, my parents had a client with a beautiful golden Jaguar. Each time he stopped by, I’d see it sparkle down our long driveway and think, “Wow, that’s the coolest car I’ve ever seen.” He even promised to let me drive one day when I was older — a promise that sadly went unfulfilled.
I’d now like to file suit against Jaguar for ruining this fond childhood memory. With a new ad campaign, the iconic sports car maker has now made itself into the lamest car on the market.
The campaign, titled “Copy nothing,” is part of Jaguar’s effort to re-brand itself in the age of EVs. It’s ironic, because just about everything in it rips off a trend that’s long since gone out of style.
Copy nothing. #Jaguar pic.twitter.com/BfVhc3l09B
— Jaguar (@Jaguar) November 19, 2024
It features a cast of diverse, genderless widgets standing around an intergalactic wasteland as thumping club music blares in the background. You have the tall, pale Harkonnen look-alike; the black afro guy and the pretty bald girl; a Tilda Swinton drag performer; the asian couple with a massive height differential and of course, the obligatory fat black girl doing her best to look seductive. The only thing missing is a wheelchair. (Click here to stream Daily Caller documentary ‘Selling Sex’)
It’s the type of diversity casting you’d expect in the immediate post-Floyd atmosphere — not after Donald Trump just won back the White House on a wave of resentment against precisely this sort of nonsense. While corporate DEI’s been on the chopping block for well over a year now, it seems as though Jaguar’s creative team still hasn’t gotten the memo. Besides, I’m pretty sure Project 2025 mandates sports car commercials need at least one hot blonde with big boobs.
But it gets worse.
With mismatched neon colors, drag-style make-up and exaggerated ruffles and trim, the fashion might have been cool in the 90s when the Club Kids did it — but Jaguar is about 30 years too late. Granted, they did update the look a little bit: You get tight, structured tailoring with asymmetrical silhouettes. But even that is a rip off Thom Browne’s androgynous runway looks, a trend that already came and went this decade on the red carpet.
NEW YORK, NEW YORK – MAY 02: (L-R) Travis Barker and Kourtney Kardashian attend The 2022 Met Gala Celebrating “In America: An Anthology of Fashion” at The Metropolitan Museum of Art on May 02, 2022 in New York City. (Photo by Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images for The Met Museum/Vogue)
These widgets strut around aimlessly while blurbs like “create exuberant” (whatever that means?) and “break molds” pop-up on the screen; get it? she’s holding a sledgehammer. Even the updated geometric Colin font tries too hard. Like those dated science fiction movies that depict an aesthetically technological 2024, the lettering feels like something someone in the past would imagine the future to look like.
Overall, the ad feels like that corporate artwork everyone hates come to life. It copies every out-dated trend of the last few years, like what a first-year art student arriving in Brooklyn thought was still cool in his small hometown. The one thing it doesn’t do, however, is sell cars. You don’t even see a Jaguar throughout the entire tortuous 30 second run time, and it remains unclear who the ad is meant to appeal to: bona fide urban tastemakers would rightfully cringe, upper-middle class Heritage America would roll their eyes and laugh, and out-of-touch art students can’t afford Jaguars.
The new @Jaguar ad is like the tech company artwork starterpack come to life. pic.twitter.com/WYDOQyBD2H
— Gage Klipper (@gvklipper) November 20, 2024
After a flood of mockery poured in on X, the company doubled down saying, “The story is unfolding. Stay tuned.”
“What the actual hell is this?” one commenter derisively asked.
“The future,” Jaguar responded, completely failing to see the irony.
So apparently, this is part of a multi-plank marketing campaign. Forgive me for not staying tuned for the next installment. Although, while the company’s social media kept up a brave face, I wouldn’t be surprised if they’re all choking back tears and the campaign gets pulled.
1968 Jaguar E type 4.2 Fixed Head Coupe. Artist Unknown. (Photo by National Motor Museum/Heritage Images/Getty Images)
The Le Mans 24 Hours; Le Mans, June 11-12, 1955. The Jaguar D-type of Don Beauman and Norman Dewis in Dunlop Curve. Their car eventually went off the road and had to retire. (Photo by Klemantaski Collection/Getty Images)
If Jaguar really wants to embrace “the future,” it should look to the past. The 1960’s E-type, the iconic Le Mans era C-Type, James Bond’s XKR — these are some of the most beautiful cars ever made. Jaguar should redesign them for the modern era: a classic, but streamlined body with unmatched modern muscle under the hood and a luxury interior that combines cutting edge tech with timeless elegance. Put a handsome man in a tuxedo behind the wheel and a beautiful woman half his age in the passenger seat, and you have a winning ad campaign targeting the broadest possible demo of affluent strivers. And as the age of DEI comes to an end, it would actually achieve what this awful campaign fails to: leading the vanguard in a new era of good taste.
I sometimes think about buying a Jaguar as an adult; I’ve still never driven one. But until the entire marketing team gets fired, I think I’ll keep my luxury vehicle aspirations on the other side of the English Channel.
